Having lived in Orlando for the last three years has brought a lot of fun and new experiences, but nothing really prepared me for Universal Orlando’s Halloween Horror Nights during its premier opening last weekend.

 

Right off the bat, the star of Halloween Horror Nights, Chance, is a homicidal, insane harlequin. And what’s a harlequin? Just another type of clown that is ready to murder you.

Plus, “American Horror Story’s” killer clown Twisty will not be attending my kid’s next birthday party.

And like many, I can thank “Poltergeist” for giving me my distaste of clowns.

But clowns were just a part of what made me scream like a crazy man. The three haunted houses that I was able to go into were “American Horror Story,” “The Exorcist” and Lunatic Playground 3-D — You Won't Stand A Chance and each one brought something unique and terrifying at the same time.

American Horror Story

Even if you never watched “American Horror Story,” it doesn’t matter. From Twisty jumping out from every corner and men with pig’s heads coming out of showers, you will be terrified.

But for you fans out there, you will appreciate the added details that you will notice in between your screams of terror.

And speaking of details, smell adds to the creep factor. While walking through and being on the lookout for homicidal killers and people popping out of beds (and no, it wasn’t the Sandman), you can smell rotting meat in the air.

It really increases the creep factor thinking you are smelling a rotting corpse.

And speaking of smells …

The Exorcist

“The Exorcist” looked like the house from the movie. And that’s what caught me off guard. After going through “American Horror Story” with its scenes from the TV show, “The Exorcist” house looked like your normal, everyday house. And that’s when you’re caught.

From sounds from the movie to the devil’s face appearing at different places, you’re already a nervous wreck before you even see Regan in all of her vomit-spewing glory.

And that’s where the smell comes in. You can smell vomit right before you walk through bedsheets covered in green puke.

I know that the smell of vomit will certainly gross-out anyone, but after taking care of my two children while they had a bad stomach virus, it really didn’t bother me at all.

Until I escaped from the laundry nightmare and came across Father Karras violently choking a possessed Regan. Of course, “Regan” was a doll, but it took me a few seconds to realize that.

Surviving Halloween Horror Nights

Before I get to Chance’s place, let me offer a few tips to keep your courage at Halloween Horror Nights.

1. Don’t be the first one in your group to walk into a house. You will be the first scare victim. In fact, I hid behind my friend and co-worker, the ever-brave Ashley Carter. She got the brunt of the scare and I knew what was coming, so I was better prepared.

2. Even when you’re not in a house, zombies, vampires and crazy cheerleaders with chainsaws will be walking amongst the living. Just remember, they can’t touch you, but they will get up close. (P.S. The chainsaws didn’t scare me, because it just reminded me of the yardwork I still have to do.)

3. Take a break. There isn’t a law saying you have to be terrified every single second of your stay. Go on a ride, eat some food. But I would suggest going to the bathroom before entering a house. You don’t want to frighten the scare actors by wetting yourself.

Visiting Chance

And now, “Lunatic Playground 3-D — You Won't Stand A Chance,” which I won’t tell you about. Just watch.

 

Florida on a Tankful's Scott Fais gives his take on Chance's house.